Dad
You were my best friend
Dad
You were never supposed to leave me
But
Dad
Today. I bury you in the ground.
And as I stand at the precipice of this heart wrenching
Earth shattering reality
I’m still looking for you…
I’m still talking to you…
As you gain your wings into heaven.
As I stay behind.
I was naive to think you would never leave me
I never thought you would leave this suddenly
I wish I had been there.
In that hospital room
With those nurses and doctors
As the pronounced you
“0202. Time of death.”
I held your hand that day
Just one last time
Filing it away in my memory
The grooves
The callouses
The hands that held me when I was weak
The hands that pushed me to be brave
But today Dad, adieu.
To JB. Thank you for reminding me that parents don’t live forever. Cherish the moments that make you smile, and forgive the fights that make you cry. That knee crumbling, wracking sob that escapes from one’s body from true loss…it will haunt you. It will haunt anyone who hears it. It is true heart break. Its your heart ripping and tearing. And no matter how many years pass, there will always be a hole. Not a day will go by without you thinking about that hole in your heart.
Discovery of Self 